It would be nice if he could take some time to understand
why I am ranting or why I suddenly feel so emotional about the things.
Sometimes, I have no reason at all when I cry or feel irritated.
So be patient with me and I will love you even more.
All I want is for you to be my umbrella against my own emotional avalanche.
So don’t be against me when even sometimes,
I go against myself.
I dont like to explain, i’d rather drop the topic.
It’s difficult to understand me.
Build to last.
we attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt,
endowing it with immortality.
we let it assault us everytime it comes to mind.
it travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love,
and broods over us when we die.
there is only one remedy for it; forgiveness
quoted from : violaerin.
it had been a week.
memories still fresh in my mind.
i never know what is it to feel like to
lost a kin.
but now,
i know.
it wasnt easy,
at all.
illness took a turn for the worse.
grandpa seem to had a feeling that battle was reaching its end,
when he finally succumbed.
He left.
i was very happy when he called my name,
asking whether did i had my meals.
but that was the very last time i heard it.
i was very happy when he said yes
when he still remember who am i;
but that was the very last time i heard it.
i was very happy when he randomly says ” hiam ” (spicy in dialect)
when everyone was guessing what is the taste of the medicine.
all of us burst into laughters.
but that was the very last time i heard it.
whenever i returned home, he will walked to the door with a smile.
grandpa was good at making ” wu xiang “, especially cny, i get to eat it.
it was awesome.
grandpa will walked around the house with stack of angpow after our reunion dinner.
but little did i know, this year was the last cny that i spent with him.
holding onto the death cert of grandpa,
sent grandpa’s very last journey,
the empty room,
that was when i know;
i have to accept the fact.
爷爷， i miss you.
